Where Do I Begin?
by write-me-well
Summary: "Meeting Rachel had been absolutely everything she had hoped for, and everything she had feared." Grapples with Shelby's relationship with Rachel, Will Schuester, and her mother. Goes AU after Theatricality, as Shelby does not adopt Beth... ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Here's my first attempt at a story in the world of Glee fan fiction. I'm going to admit right now that I absolutely love Idina Menzel, so this is going to be a Shelby centered story with plenty of Will and Rachel. So, without further ado:

Where Do I Begin?

Chapter 1

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Throughout her life, Shelby Corcoran had become an expert at avoiding her mother. She knew when to leave her phone off the hook, shut down her computer, and even go on vacation if need be. And in the three months that had passed since her ill-fated attempt at a relationship with her teenage daughter, she had employed those techniques in full force.

Meeting Rachel had been absolutely everything she had hoped for, and everything she had feared. The first time she had seen Rachel, well, since that day in the hospital, her heart had nearly exploded with happiness. She knew immediately that the young girl on stage belting out Barbra Streisand was hers. It meant the world to Shelby to finally have an image of her daughter to hold on to. Of course, the story does not continue on that happy note. Neither Shelby nor Rachel were quite prepared to be in each other's lives, but somehow going back to the status quo was painful as well. Although this time it had been Shelby's choice to remove herself from Rachel's life, it still seemed as though the hole in her heart had been ripped open and left gaping.

The heartbreak that had come with Shelby's short-lived relationship with Rachel had sent her life into a downward spiral. She had announced her retirement from Vocal Adrenaline after the team had their fourth consecutive win at Nationals. She had quit dancing, her first true love, in the fancy home studio the Vocal Adrenaline boosters had so generously provided her with. She did not do much other than lie on the couch in sweats, watching Lifetime movies and wondering when her life had become just like the ridiculous storylines she was watching. Her only motivation was to avoid the phone calls from her mother and the increasingly persistent Will Schuester.

Shelby sat on the couch, sniffling as she watched yet another made for TV movie when the phone rang, again. She responded by grabbing the chord and ripping it out of the wall, then returning her attention to the television set. She got a sick sense of enjoyment from her destruction and allowed herself a small smirk before settling back into the couch. Then, without warning her front door flew open, causing Shelby to fall off of the couch into a heap on the ground. She looked up from the ground and brushed locks of brown hair out of her eyes.

"Mom?" She questioned.

"Hi honey." Christina Corcoran responded sarcastically. "I'm sorry, did I startle you?" She asked, pulling open the curtains.

"Not at all." Shelby bit back, pulling herself up off the floor.

"It's been nearly four months since we've heard from you Shelby."

"I've just been really busy Ma, I swear."

"Is that so? Because from what I've heard, you no longer have a job."

"How on earth could you even know that?"

"Your father and I have a google alert on your name. I read all about your 'retirement' sweetie." Her mother snorted, using air quotes.

"I was burnt out, I just need a little break that's all. You can head back to your bridge games and D.A.R. meetings."

"Oh, you know full well that I'm not a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution. And I'm really not appreciating your attitude right now. You could have at least answered a call to let us know you were alive!"

"Well, isn't that what your google alert is for?" Shelby asked, smirking.

"You watch your attitude Shelby Jean." Her mother snapped. "Now you need to get up off that couch and get dressed, because we are going to clean up this pigsty and then get you out of the house." She announced.

"If I get up are you going to leave me alone?"

"You know I'm not, now let's get a move on."

Shelby recognized the tone in her mother's voice and slowly rose from the couch and padded up the stairs towards her bedroom.

Thirty minutes later she came back downstairs in a pair of black yoga pants with a worn out NYU sweatshirt and her long hair tied in a bun on top of her head. She found her mother vacuuming the living room carpet and the rest of the room nearly spotless.

"Good, you're ready." Christina said, eyeing her daughter's clothing choice. "First stop is the grocery store. You have nothing but coffee in that kitchen of yours and you look absolutely undernourished."

"This is ridiculous Ma, I can go to the grocery store on my own. You've seen me, I'm alive, I'm sure Daddy would rather you be at home."

"I'm not that easy Shelby. We're going to the grocery store and then we're making dinner and we're going to have a talk. Understood?"

"Yes Ma. Your car or mine?" Shelby resigned.

Ten minutes later Shelby found herself listlessly pushing a cart down the frozen food aisle behind her mother.

"Shelby, if you don't start taking better care of yourself you're going to end up in the hospital."

"Mom, I'm fine." She grumbled.

"Sweetheart, have you looked in a mirror lately? Your cheeks are gaunt, you have dark circles under your eyes, and your clothes are just hanging off of you."

"It's a sweatshirt Ma, it's supposed to be baggy." She answered, rolling her eyes.

Christina opened her mouth to respond when they were interrupted.

"Shelby Corcoran!" Will Schuester exclaimed. "Fancy meeting you here." He said smiling.

"Will Schuester. I would run into you today." She muttered under her breath.

"Shelby, I've been trying to get a hold of you, see there's this situation with Rachel and—"

"Will, this is my mother Christina Corcoran." Shelby cut him off, her eyes pleading for him to stop talking.

"Ah, it's very nice to meet you. I can see the resemblance." He said warmly, shaking her hand.

"Mom, would you mind giving Will and I just a second?" Shelby asked, nudging the cart towards the older woman.

"Of course." She answered, raising her eyebrows at her daughter.

Once Christina had turned the corner Shelby grabbed Will's elbow and pulled him further away.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed. "Bringing up Rachel in front of my mother." She trailed off.

"How was I supposed to know?" He asked. "I've been trying to reach you and this seemed like my only chance."

"Is she okay?" She asked, softening.

"No." He responded. "And from the looks of it, you're not either."

"I'm fine."

"Look Shelby, I don't know what happened. All I was able to gather from Rachel was something about Lady Gaga, glasses of water, and perfect harmonies." He said, sighing as a look of recognition swept across her face.

"It's hard." She admitted. "But you were right Will. I'm not what Rachel needs in her life right now. And I really don't want to get into this in the middle of the supermarket."

"You're right, this probably isn't the place. Would it be okay if I came by sometime?" He asked.

"Why Will? Why do you even care?"

"Because with you there's no pretending. I think I need a friend like you, and I'm figuring you could use a friend like me."

"You realize you constantly sound like a greeting card, right?"

"Can I take that as a yes?" He asked, grinning at her.

"I suppose it wouldn't be horrible if you stopped by sometime."

"That's what I thought."

"I'd better get back to my mother." Shelby said, suddenly feeling self conscious of her less than fashionable outfit.

"Wouldn't want to keep her waiting." Will agreed. "It was good seeing you Shelby Corcoran." He said, picking up his basket and walking down the aisle.

"You too Will Schuester." She answered under her breath.

Shelby found her mother debating heads of lettuce in the produce section and shuffled over, prepared for the barrage of questions she was certain would be coming.

"Is he the reason you're behaving this way?" Christina asked, without even looking up from her measurements.

"The reason I'm… no Ma. Will has nothing to do with any of this."

"Don't fault me for asking. He mentioned that you'd been dodging his calls as well and let's be honest it wouldn't be the first time you turned your life upside down because of a man."

"He's just the coach of a rival glee club, that's all." Shelby snorted. New Directions could hardly be considered a rival of hers.

"He certainly looked at you as more than a colleague."

"Oh please Ma, he's probably just shocked to see me in sweats." Shelby answered, a small smile cropping up on her face.

"You're pleased." Christina noted. "You're glad that he stared at you like a piece of meat."

"If that were the case, which it was definitely not, I would simply be flattered. Nothing more."

"I know you better than you think Shelby. I've seen that look on your face before. Now, tell me more about this Will Schuester."

"There's nothing more to tell." Shelby stated, getting frustrated. "God, Ma, all the lettuce looks the same. Can you just pick one so we can get out of here?"

"You don't need to raise your voice at me Shelby. Please, don't forget who you're talking to." Christina scolded, grabbing a head of lettuce and placing it in the cart.

After thirty more minutes of grocery shopping Shelby was finally able to convince her mother that they had stockpiled enough food for at least a month. Both women were silent the ride home, each simultaneously worrying about their own daughters. Shelby, wondering if she had done the right thing in cutting off her relationship with Rachel, and Christina, wondering when her relationship with Shelby had become so one-sided. Of course Christina had an idea of when that had occurred, some sixteen years earlier. That time neither she nor her husband had heard from Shelby in almost a year, save for a tear-filled call from their daughter in the middle of the night. After a while Shelby had come back into their lives, but Christina was convinced that something had happened that had distanced her little girl from them forever. If only she knew how right she was.

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Thank you so much for reading! I know that it sometimes seems like a hassle to review, but I would really appreciate any input that you have! T-8 Days until Glee Season 2! Peace, Lakeland


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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A few hours later Shelby found herself sitting listlessly at the kitchen table while Christina puttered around cooking dinner. It appeared that her mother had no plans to leave anytime soon and Shelby was none too pleased with that fact. She had always been closer with her father and each minute she spent with her mother was making her more nervous.

"Shelby, are you going to mope around all night or are you going to help me?" Christina snapped, startling her daughter.

"Ma, I'm horrible in the kitchen. I promise I'm more of a help just sitting here than if I tried to do anything." Shelby grumbled, dropping her head onto the flat surface of the table.

"Well, I just don't know how that's possible. Your sister is an amazing cook."

"I know. Kim can do no wrong. I get it." Shelby responded, her voice muffled.

"That's not what I meant and you know that. You're far too dramatic. And speaking of dramatics, are you going to tell me what's been going on or do I have to pry it out of you?"

"I swear to you that there is nothing going on that you need to know."

"I'm not trying to be nosy Shelby! I'm trying to help! Why won't you ever let anyone help you?" Christina cried, throwing down the rag she was using to wipe up the counter.

"I don't know what you're talking about. If I needed your help I would let you know, but right now I'm perfectly fine on my own." Shelby said, exasperated.

"I don't believe you. Shelby, its obvious that you haven't been taking care of yourself. You've dropped at least fifteen pounds since the last time I saw you. You just don't look healthy. Is that it? Are you sick?"

"No, I'm not sick. And if I were sick I would definitely tell you." Shelby responded softly.

"Well, I'm glad, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook."

"What do you want from me?" Shelby moaned.

"I want you to tell me what's wrong." Her mother said, sighing.

"I'm not saying that anything is wrong, but if there was something going on, I would only hide it to protect you."

"Oh, well that's really reassuring Shelby. Now I know something's wrong."

"You're so frustrating!"

"Then the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You my dear, are going to be the death of me."

"Can't you go over to Kim's and worry about her?" Shelby whined.

"I don't need to worry about Kim." Her mother exclaimed. "Kim checks in with us regularly, she didn't quit her job, and she's got Stan to watch out for her and the kids."

"Is that what this is about? If I got married would you leave me alone?"

"First of all, you need to stop acting like a whiny teenager. Second, that's not what this is about at all. Do I wish you were married? Of course, if only so you could be happy."

"Maybe I'm acting like a teenager because my mom is hounding me for information about my life."

"I'm not hounding you, I'm just trying to help. Even your father is worried about you."

Shelby sighed, resigning to the fact that her mother didn't seem to be leaving any time soon.

"Ma, I'm exhausted, I'm going to go to bed. I'm assuming that you're staying the night?" She looked to her mother for confirmation. When Christina nodded she continued, "Right, the guest bedroom is down the hall, first door on the left."

"Don't think you can avoid talking to me Shelby. I'm not leaving until we get to the bottom of this."

"Yeah, okay." Shelby called over her shoulder as she trudged up the stairs. She got to her room and flopped down onto her bed. She wasn't sure how long she could keep up pretenses with her mother, the woman reminded her of a CIA agent. She shrugged off the feeling and grabbed her laptop, plugging in her headphones. She had taken to watching Rachel's myspace videos before bed because even though she had been the one to break off communication, she still wanted to feel closer to her daughter.

Shelby wasn't generally the most sentimental woman and she definitely wasn't a crier. It was something that she had always prided herself on, but as she watched Rachel sing she couldn't help but let a tear slip out. She knew it was stupid to sit there in her misery, torturing herself with the videos, but she couldn't help it. She still couldn't believe that the girl, young woman, in the videos was her daughter. That it was the little girl she had brought into the world so many years ago.

Meanwhile, Christina was standing outside of her own daughter's bedroom door, ready to knock, but frozen in place by the sound of her daughter crying. It was killing her to know that Shelby was hurting, but unable to tell her what was wrong. She slowly walked away from the door and looked around the house, feeling helpless. She finally decided that she could try and keep her mind off of things by organizing Shelby's office. She walked into the room, taken aback by the lack of personal touches. It could have been a picture right out of an IKEA magazine if not for the scattered messes. She leafed through the papers on the desk, putting them in their proper folders and drawers. She smiled lightly when she saw a drawer full of thank you notes from her Vocal Adrenaline kids. She gazed around the room, taking in the large number of trophies lining the walls, when she saw a framed newspaper clipping. There was a large picture of Shelby and one of her students celebrating a victory, but that was not what had caught her eye. In the lower corner there was a picture from a "new and upcoming glee club." She stood to get a closer look and blinked a few times, but the girl in the front row was nearly a clone of Shelby at that age.

Christina's mind started racing. Why had Shelby saved this clipping out of all the rest? Did the girl in the corner of the newspaper have something to do with it? She looked at the picture again. The girl could have been no more than fifteen or sixteen years old, but she couldn't be… Well, Shelby had become quite distant for almost a year just about the time the girl must have been born. It had been right before Shelby had left for New York, before she had become so cynical. If all this was true, if this girl was actually her granddaughter, she shuddered to think what Shelby must have gone through. Alone. She felt her heart breaking for her eldest daughter. She would have only been twenty years old, nearly a child herself. Christina stopped, she was getting ahead of herself, it could all just be a horrible coincidence. She placed the frame back on its shelf and ventured back towards her daughter's room. When Shelby did not respond to her knock she lightly pushed open the door to find her distraught daughter asleep, tear tracks on her cheeks. She noted a laptop on the bed and went to move it out of the way when she caught a glimpse of the screen. It was some sort of a video, which wouldn't have been interesting at all had it not been for the image of the girl from the newspaper clipping smiling back at her. She quickly closed the computer and set in on the armchair in the corner of the room, her gaze flicking back to her sleeping daughter. She had loved watching Shelby sleep as a child. It was the only time she let her guard down. Even now she looked much younger than her years, clutching her blanket just as she had done when she was small. Christina had to stop herself from running to her daughter's side and pulling her into her arms. She quietly made her way back to the guest room, preparing for bed, and shedding a few tears for both her daughter and her granddaughter.

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Thank you all so much for reviewing! I'm humbled by your response to this story. I think I've responded to everybody below, but just as a blanket announcement, Will and Rachel will have bigger parts in this story eventually, but first I had to build the drama. Don't worry I haven't forgotten about them! And I'm so glad to have found more Idina fans through writing this! Can't even describe what an amazing performer she is!

**aussiebabe290**, **keri**, **starbuck128**, **danielle503**, **KateGreysFan**, **Drama Queen Sunniebunn**: Thank you so much for your reviews and kind words! I'll try to update a little more often for you guys… Hope you liked the chapter!

**Vienna98**: Thank you so much for your review, hopefully this chapter was worth the wait :]

**MarlisaKristine**: To be perfectly honest, I wasn't exactly sure where this was headed either, but I've got a little bit more of a plan in place now :] And no Rachel this chapter, but as the story unfolds we'll definitely see more of her.

**Jasper'sFavorite**: Thank you those are such great compliments, they really mean a lot to me. Rachel will definitely show up in this story soon!

**banjojd**: So glad that you liked Shelby's mom, hopefully meeting her will give us more insight into why Shelby is the way she is.

**druz**: You're too nice! I hope this will make your day :]

**Cissy Black Malfoy**: Glad I could make you laugh, it's one of the best compliments I could get :] p.s. Everyone should read your fic for some good Shelby/Rachel dynamics! Love it!

**NastEliBuggr**: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

**Phases Of Obsession**: Yeeahhh *high five* I love Idina! Haha

**DZR**: Glad I could inspire you to review, you've inspired me to write some more :]


	3. Chapter 3

I am so, so, so, so sorry this chapter took so long. I know how lame it sounds, but unfortunately midterms took over my life for a couple of weeks :(

Chapter 3

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The next morning Shelby awoke groggily to the smell of coffee wafting into her bedroom.

"Oh, there is a god." She mumbled, following the scent into the kitchen, where she found her mother sitting at the table.

"You're awake." Christina noted.

"You're still here." Shelby mimicked, grabbing a cup of coffee.

Christina uncharacteristically let the comment slide and waited for her daughter to join her at the table.

"Why so Zen?" Shelby asked, sitting down.

"Shelby, I know." Her mother responded, deciding to just come out with the truth.

"Know what?" She asked, grabbing the newspaper.

"Shelby, sweetie, I know that you have a daughter." She said gently.

If Christina hadn't been sure of her suspicions before, she definitely was now, as Shelby knocked her cup of coffee over and jumped up from her seat.

"Shit!" She hissed. "Shit, shit, shit." She muttered, grabbing a dishrag from the counter and wiping up the coffee.

She threw the rag into the sink and stayed in front of the counter, clutching the surface as if it were the only thing keeping her standing.

"Shelby, I'm right aren't I? It was right before you left for New York." She continued, as Shelby's face gave away nothing. "You could have told us you were pregnant, we would have helped you. I don't understand why you felt the need to hide this from your father and I."

Shelby turned slowly to face her mother and Christina was taken aback by the hardened look on her daughter's face.

"If I wanted you to know I would have told you!" Shelby yelled, running a shaky hand through her hair. "How did you find out? Were you up all night going through my things? Did someone tell you?"

"It wasn't very hard to figure out Shelby, you've got her picture on your wall."

"You were never supposed to know." Shelby responded, her voice shaking.

"How could you not tell us? Your father and I have a granddaughter we've never even met, we don't even know her name. Of all the selfish things—"

"Selfish? You have no idea exactly how unselfish I've been all these years! You don't know anything!" Shelby cut her off.

"How am I supposed to know anything when you've been putting on this act for so long?"

"Oh please Ma, you've known something was wrong. How could you not? I have been _broken_ for sixteen years." Shelby rasped, quickly brushing a stray tear from her eye.

"How could I know that Shelby? How? Your life is a complete mystery to me. And I was willing to accept that for so long, but not anymore. I am your mother and I deserve to know what is going on with you. And I sure as hell deserve to know when you have a baby!" She yelled.

Christina cringed even as the words were coming out of her mouth. She had promised herself that she wouldn't get angry. While she knew very few details about her daughter's personal life, she knew her daughter very well. The minute she got angry Shelby's defenses would spring up and she would refuse to allow herself to show any weaknesses at all.

"Fine, you want to know about my life? Let me enlighten you." Shelby said coldly. "I was a surrogate mother for a gay couple sixteen years ago. They took the baby and made me sign a contract saying that I would not contact her until she was eighteen." She explained.

"Shelby, I…" Christina began.

"I'm not quite done yet. I went to New York, you remember? You and Dad love to talk about how that didn't work out. Well, you're right, New York sucked. I let director after director pass me over for girls with a more 'conventional look.' My heart wasn't in it anyways. But don't worry, while I was there I met Charlie. And let's just say that Charlie treated me like shit. He used me for sex and I was so god damn starved for a little acceptance that I let him. You can just imagine how that turned out." Shelby snarled.

"Stop!" Christina cried, her heart breaking for her daughter.

"See? There are reasons I keep these things from you."

"Don't you understand that even if I felt you were making the wrong decisions I would have helped you? If you had come home from New York and told me about this horrible man I would have supported you?"

"Telling you about any of this wouldn't have changed things. It just would have hurt you. And contrary to popular belief I don't want to hurt you." Shelby explained, her voice softening.

"I appreciate that Shelby, but I'm your mother and I'm here to help you with anything. Even if that anything might hurt me."

Christina felt as though she'd aged ten years in the past ten minutes. The emotions had swelled from disbelief to sadness to anger and everything in between. Shelby had always been her more dramatic child and she couldn't help but feel that she should have expected this. Maybe she should have waited for Shelby to come to her on her own. Or perhaps she shouldn't have sprung this on her daughter the minute she woke up. She finally thought that maybe she should never have meddled in the first place. It seemed as though her daughter was in a darker place now than she had been when Christina first arrived.

Christina closed her eyes and paused a few moments before opening them and continuing to speak. "Maybe what would be best for both of us right now would be for me to go home. Barging into your home like this was obviously a poor choice and I apologize."

Shelby could only nod at her mother.

"I just want you to promise me that you will talk to someone. You need to stop punishing yourself and get back out into the world." Christina said, pulling her reluctant daughter into a hug. "I'm so sorry." She whispered into her daughter's thick brown hair.

"I'm sorry too." Shelby said quietly, defeated. "Rachel. Your granddaughter's name is Rachel." She whispered as they parted.

Christina froze for a moment, the reality of the situation hitting her once again and then continued to the guest room where she picked up her bag and slowly walked out the door, even though her heart yearned to return to her daughter.

Shelby watched her mother walk out the door and then made her way to the sink where she began aimlessly cleaning stray dishes. She tried to push everything that had just happened to the back of her mind, but the thoughts kept creeping back to the forefront. Her mother knew about Rachel. Sixteen years of silence on the subject had been erased by one morning of yelling in her kitchen. She felt horrible about yelling at her mother, really she did, but if she hadn't yelled she would have broken down and sobbed. And Shelby Corcoran did not break down in front of anyone, not even her mother.

She considered what her mother had said before leaving, that she should talk to someone. Did she mean a shrink? Because Shelby did not see herself lying on some couch spilling her guts to anyone. Well, she had over shared a bit with Will Schuester on his couch, but she was definitely not paying him and he was definitely not a shrink. It was times like these that Shelby wished she had a friend she could call up. She hadn't had a real friend in years. Women were intimidated by her and well, men wanted to sleep with her. Besides, Shelby hadn't had time for friends with her dedication to Vocal Adrenaline. But it would have been nice to have someone to talk to, someone who could help her overanalyze everything that had happened. She snorted a bit at the thought and trudged upstairs to start a bath. She figured she might as well try to relax, even though consciously she knew that nothing would stop constant stream of worries that were entering her brain.

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Thank you all so much taking the time to read and review, it means the world to me. I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations, I wrote a couple of different versions, but this seemed the most realistic. P.S. For those of you wondering, Rachel will be making an appearance, I just don't want to rush it, let's be real, Shelby is not in a good place to see her right now...

LilaMae1- Thank you so much for reading! I'll definitely be updating more often now.

kaitlyn, DarkestAngel11, AshMichele, keri, alex, DZR- Thank you! Your reviews mean so much to me, hopefully this doesn't disappoint.

kiki- I promise Rachel will be there soon!

Jessica- You're right, opening up about everything should be very healing for Shelby...she just doesn't realize it yet!

Jasper'sFavorite- Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad that you enjoyed their dynamic...hopefully I didn't screw it up. Every time I started this chapter they were just itching for a fight haha.

MarlisaKristine- Thanks for reviewing! Well, you were right about the hint of angst...lol.

Drama Queen SunnieBunn- "gold stars are kinda my thing." haha thank you!

Geoera- I'm always happy to find another Idina fan! There should be more of us out there!

banjojd- Thank you! I saw her in the summer too and now I'm going back in November, I think we kinda had the same idea :) She's too good not to go again!

Starbuck128- Awkward just about covers it... haha. And yeah, she didn't start out angry, but she got there pretty quick in this chapter. I think Shelby gets a lot of her qualities from Christina, including covering up her hurt with anger.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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Shelby Corcoran's world had been considerably rocked. As if it wasn't enough to find and lose her teenage daughter in the span of a few months, now her mother and presumably the rest of her family knew about everything. Everything that she had kept carefully hidden for sixteen years. She could not even imagine what her father would think. Thoughts of being disowned flashed through her mind. He was a very old fashioned man and her choice to have a baby for a gay couple was quite modern. Her worries might've stopped there, but no, she had run into a very insistent Will Schuester two days before. He had spoken of a situation with Rachel and Shelby was dying to know what was wrong.

Shelby's recent method of coping had included quitting her job, lying on the couch, and the occasional bottle of wine. That had been fine and well for a while, but now there were just too many unknowns. Shelby Corcoran valued being in control and she was ready to regain control of her life. She got out of bed before eleven for the first time in months, showered, and dressed to impress. No more sweatshirts and leggings for this lady. She brewed herself a cup of coffee and plotted her actions. There was no way that she could fix the situation with her family, so in pure Shelby fashion she pushed it to the back of her mind. She conceded that the next step was to call Will. Perhaps he was right, she could use a friend.

Thirty minutes later she found herself sitting across from Will at a small coffee shop in downtown Carmel. She didn't dare meet him in Lima.

"Will, I know you didn't meet me to talk about Glee club." Shelby said, taking a sip of her latte.

"You're right." He said lamely. "Are you sure you're up to it today? You look a little, uh tired." He said wincing.

"Why thank you Will." She said sarcastically. "You were going to tell me something about Rachel." She prompted.

"It's not that big of a deal, okay? I mean, for her it is, but—"

"Just tell me."

"She quit Glee." He said simply. "I'm almost 90 percent sure that it has nothing to do with losing Regionals."

"You're sure?" She asked weakly.

"I tried to talk to her after class the other day and she hardly had anything to say. Believe me, if this was about Regionals she would have talked my ear off."

"So it's my fault."

"No, no I didn't tell you so you would blame yourself."

"Come on Will. How could it not be my fault? Rachel didn't ask me to disrupt her life. I did that on my own, with nearly no regard for how it would affect her…I should have waited." She trailed off.

"Shelby, no. She's a teenage girl. I'm sure she's dreamt of meeting you her entire life."

"Well, I'm sure I'm just a dream come true." She snorted.

"I think you were Shelby. Before, well, before everything happened Rachel was happier than I've ever seen her—when she walked in wearing the costume you made her." Will smiled. "She was so proud."

"You're the one who told me I was hard, that this whole thing was a bad idea." She said quietly.

"I know." He said, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean for you to cut ties completely. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into. Even then I knew it wasn't really my place…"

"Why are you telling me all this?'

"I think she needs you in her life." He admitted. "And I think you need her in yours."

"What am I supposed to do? Just waltz back into her life like nothing happened? Even I know that would be a horrible idea."

"No, you're right you can't just pick things up back at Lady Gaga." He said knowingly. "I think maybe you could write her? Maybe instead of distancing yourselves completely you could get to know each other through letters."

"I feel like any intrusion from me would set her back even more." Shelby confessed.

"You could be right, but maybe you both need to break a little more in order to fix things. She's still young Shelby, you still have time."

"You're not just doing this to get her to rejoin Glee?" She asked with a small smirk.

"I can see how it might look that way." He smiled. "But Glee was the one thing at school that Rachel really loved and I think you can help give that back to her."

"I'll write a letter." She said. "I trust that you'll get it to her for me?"

"Of course."

"Thank you Will." She placed her hand on his. "I really do appreciate your help." She said letting her guard down.

"No problem Shelby. Just trying to return the favor."

She looked at him questioningly.

"That night you, uh came to my apartment," he began, blushing. "You were honest with me about my whole disastrous relationship situation. I really needed to hear that."

"Well, I'm happy I could help." She said, sliding her hand out of his own, as though she was reminded of his unavailability.

"Emma has a new boyfriend." He blurted out at the loss of contact.

"Oh no Will. I'm not going to be some sort of stand in for your perfect girlfriend while you wait for her." Shelby said, sensing the direction the conversation was taking.

"I'd never," he cleared his throat. "What I mean is I'd never ask you to be a stand in Shelby. Just friends, right?" He said, his smile fading a bit.

"Right, just friends." She mimicked, quite uncomfortable with the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"So how are the New Directions?" Shelby asked, changing the subject.

"Morale is a little low with Rachel gone, but of course the more solo-hungry members of the group are thriving." He explained, rolling his eyes.

"Well, if you ever need any help with choreography." She offered nonchalantly.

"You, Shelby Corcoran would be willing to help the McKinley High Glee Club with choreography. Is this real life?" He asked, laughing.

"It's not as though I'm coaching VA anymore. Plus I couldn't help but notice that your choreography, or lack thereof at Regionals, was struggling a bit. I could be your secret weapon." She winked.

"That would be awesome. I admit that vocal arrangements are more my area of expertise…and if I recall correctly, you took Nationals with a routine where the kids danced completely on their hands?" He said laughing.

"That would be correct Mr. Schuester." She said playfully.

"Oh then, I'll _definitely_ be taking you up on that offer."

"Good." She smiled, glancing at her watch. "Oh, it's almost one, didn't you mention a meeting with your principal?"

"Already? Oh wow, I've got to run." He said, standing quickly. "Shelby, please call me if you need anything, okay?" He grabbed her hand and made her look him in the eye.

"I will." She said quietly, unused to the attention. "And I'll get that letter to you soon." She said louder.

"Great. Everything's going to work out, okay?" He said, his eyes twinkling.

"Whatever you say." She mumbled, standing and pulling her Coach purse over her shoulder.

Shelby waved again before getting into her Range Rover and heading towards home. She found herself sitting at her desk, staring at a blank piece of paper. Yes, Shelby Corcoran finally had a plan, but she found that she had absolutely no clue what she was going to write.

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Next chapter is Rachel's POV, I promise!

Lux thebarbarionwarrior, marinka4- Thank you guys for reviewing!

Jasper'sFavorite- Thank you as usual :) Rachel/Shelby interaction to come soon!

Phases of Obsession- NY guy will definitely pop up again...definitely some unresolved issues there...

MarlisaKristine- Yup, Shelby always has some sort of crazy past, doesn't she? Glad you liked it :)

RosalietheBeautyQueen- Thank you, glad you like the story idea!

Drama Queen Sunnibunn- No way! More gold stars? I'm so lucky :))

AshMichele- Love the showface! Some Rachel/Shelby coming soon to a chapter near you!

DZR- Agreeeed. Midterms are lame, but they're done for a while. Huzzah! Glad you like the story!


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a week since the first time Shelby sat down to write Rachel's letter and she still had nothing. Her wastebasket was full of crumpled pieces of paper full of words that had sounded too cliché and even depressing. She was stuck. The idea of a letter had sounded brilliant when Will first suggested it, but sitting at her desk searching for the right words Shelby was reminded why she had stuck with music all these years.

Shelby sighed, throwing down her pencil and running a hand through her hair. The whole writing thing? Useless. She pushed back her chair to stand when her eyes rested on her bejeweled cell phone. She realized that throughout this whole ordeal with Rachel she had never tried to contact Levi and Michael. Her daughter's fathers. Now that everything was out in the open, she knew the responsible thing would have been to call them immediately. She shook her head at her foolishness and logged onto the internet, where she quickly found their home number. She dialed it with shaking fingers and her heart pounded nervously.

"Berry residence, Michael speaking." A warm, rich baritone answered.

Shelby heaved a sigh of relief, when she was pregnant she had always been more comfortable with Michael.

"Michael? It's Shelby—"

"I would have recognized your voice anywhere." His voice boomed. "How are you dealing with all of this sweetie?" He asked.

"Me? Oh, I didn't call for that. I just, I realized I should have called earlier. I am so sorry about everything Michael." She stuttered, thrown off guard by his caring demeanor.

"Shelby, we—or better, I knew this was going to happen eventually. Don't worry about Rachel, we have her therapist on standby and we're seeing to it that this is a smooth transition."

"Smooth transition? What has Rachel told you?" She questioned.

"Well, she's been spending at least two dinners a week with you. I almost hate you for stealing her away." He joked.

"Oh Michael, I don't know how to say this. I don't know where Rachel has been spending those dinners, but she hasn't been with me. In fact, I haven't seen her for months."

"What do you mean? What happened?" He asked, worry evident in his voice.

Shelby felt more awkward than she had in her entire life. And let's just say Michael and Levi had not been very shy throughout her pregnancy. But this was worse. How do you tell someone that you broke his child's heart?

"Things did not go as well as Rachel may have told you." Shelby began. "If anything, our reunion was awkward and forced. I thought when the time came I would be ready to know her…" Shelby trailed off.

"But instead you decided you'd rather have nothing to do with her? How could you do that Shelby? She's just a teenager, she doesn't need that kind of rejection, from her own mother no less." He said, his voice taking on an edge.

"Well I thought you would appreciate that, considering you weren't even going to allow me to meet her until she was eighteen. Eighteen Michael, can you imagine that? You never even let me hold her." She spat, unable to contain herself.

"Levi." He corrected. "Levi never let you hold her. I fought for you to be in her life Shelby. Levi felt that if you were around it would never feel like she was completely ours." He said softly.

Shelby nearly dropped the phone when she heard Michael's words. She had childishly vilified Michael and Levi for so many years and was now taken aback by his admission. It wasn't completely surprising though. While she was pregnant Shelby had picked up on the subtle hints of the Berry's relationship. Michael had decided that he would become a stay at home dad and quit his job as an interior decorator the moment Shelby called to tell them the pregnancy had taken. On the other hand Levi was a high-powered attorney and seemed to have the final say in all of their decisions because he was the one paying for everything.

"I appreciate that Michael." She said softly. "I didn't mean to snap at you, that's not why I called."

"Why did you call Shelby?" He asked.

"I'm sort of...friends with one of Rachel's teachers, Will Schuester, and he mentioned that Rachel seems like she's having a hard time with everything. He said that she quit New Directions." She trailed off.

"It seems as though Rachel has been putting on a brave face for Levi and myself. I'm ashamed to say that we thought she was still attending practices every day after school." He said sighing.

"This is my fault Michael. I know that I handled things wrong, believe me I do. I dreamed about meeting her for so many years and I ruined everything. Maybe I wasn't ready, I don't know, but there's no excuse."

"Shelby, don't blame yourself. You were so young." He said, visions of a vivacious, idealistic, young Shelby running through his head. "I can't help but think we took advantage of you all those years ago. We were so blind in our quest to have a child, we never stopped to think of how it would affect you."

"I knew what I was doing Michael."

"But you didn't really. How could you? God, if someone came to Rachel with an idea like that I would knock them out."

"That's why I didn't tell my parents." Shelby said, allowing herself a small chuckle. "I don't regret anything, I just wish maybe that I had done things a little differently."

"We've all made mistakes Shelby, but maybe now is the time to fix them. Its not too late." He said. "I'm going to sit down with Rachel and really talk to her. Perhaps she'll be willing to try again."

"That would be lovely. Thank you Michael. I understand how hard this must be on both you and Levi."

"It's not a problem Shelby. I can't help but think this is all happening years too late." He admitted. "You know what, I think I hear Rachel now. I'm going to have to excuse myself, I find that there are quite a few things I need to discuss with her."

"Of course."

"I'll call you soon." He promised, hanging up the phone as his daughter entered the room.

Shelby set her phone down slowly. She could not believe how well the call had gone. She had expected yelling and tears, not understanding and compassion. As painful as it was to admit, Shelby found it reassuring that her daughter was being raised by someone like Michael. In the few minutes she had spoken with him he had been able to give her hope, something she hadn't had for a long time.

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Thanks for reading (: Sorry for the delay...again. I hate it when real life gets in the way!


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for all the kind reviews! I would respond to each individually, but I wanted to get this posted since its been so long...

Chapter 6

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Michael hung up the phone, rubbing his eyes wearily as Rachel entered the room.

"Hi Daddy." She said sweetly, walking over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Rachel, sweetie, would you mind sitting down for a minute before you go running upstairs?" He asked, referring to her newfound habit of hiding in her room until dinner.

"Sure." She said, sitting on the couch. "Is everything okay?"

"No Rach, it's not. And apparently it hasn't been for quite a while."

"What do you mean? Are you okay?" She asked, a look of panic crossing her face.

"Oh, no it's nothing like that honey. I'm going to be honest with you, I just got off the phone with Shelby Corcoran."

Rachel's eyes widened at the mention of her mother's name. Her hand shook a little as she fiddled with her hair.

"She told me everything." He finished, his eyes filling with tears as he watched his daughter's facial expression crumple.

"Everything?" She asked softly, to which he nodded.

"Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me what happened? What were you afraid of?"

"I didn't want you and Dad to get mad at Shelby." She admitted.

"Rachel, that's not a reason to lie to your father and I…" He began.

"It's not? She's my mother! Even if she can't handle that right now it doesn't make it any less true. What if I get another chance with her someday? If you and Dad knew everything you would never that happen, and I couldn't afford that."

Michael was surprised by the amount of anger behind his daughter's words. Sure, Rachel was always dramatic, but never like this.

"Honey, you're right. I'm not pleased with Shelby's actions right now." He saw her eyes narrow. "But, my first priority is to take care of you. I just wish you would've let me be there for you." He explained.

"You don't understand." She muttered.

"Then help me understand Rach."

"You kept her from me all of these years. Can you imagine what its like not to know where you come from? To not have a mother? It's like a piece of me was missing. And then to find out that she only lived one town away, one town Daddy!"

"We didn't keep her from you Rachel, I had no idea she was living in Carmel." He said weakly.

"I know about the contract. She wasn't allowed to contact me until I turned eighteen. Who does that?" She snarled.

"I don't know what to tell you pumpkin, your father and I tried to give you everything. We were our own kind of family."

"We were." She said, eyes brimming with tears. "But I just wish you had let me know her too." She said softly.

Michael's chest constricted at his daughter's words. He knew she was right. There should have been nothing stopping them from allowing their daughter to know her own mother.

"She said that she regretted it you know, giving me up. And then that she didn't, because I got to have the both of you. I just wish I could have it both ways."

"Maybe it's not too late for that sweetheart."

"I scared her away. I know that I can be a little overbearing, but I really tried to pace myself with our reunion." She said, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I just wanted to know her."

"Rachel, I knew Shelby pretty well. Ask me anything." He sighed.

"Anything?"

"Sure. I'll tell you everything I know."

"What was she like, when you first met her?" Rachel asked, tucking her legs underneath her neatly and leaning forward.

"Well, when I met Shelby she was hardly older than you are now. She was working three jobs, trying to save up enough money to go to New York City. Her parents agreed to support her if she went to school, but Shelby had her sights set on Broadway and she didn't want to wait."

"How did you meet her?"

"She was our wedding singer." He said, smiling at the memory. "And she was absolutely outstanding. She put on such a show, I always thought we would end up seeing her name in lights."

Michael could see Rachel hanging on desperately to every detail he was giving her, so he continued.

"Shelby had a sort of glow about her Rachel. When she was in a room everyone gravitated towards her; everyone wanted to know her. She was just…special. And her stories, Shelby knew how to tell a story. It didn't matter what she was talking about, she had this sense of humor that constantly had me in stitches."

He noticed Rachel allow herself a small smile, so he continued on.

"She actually stayed with us for the duration of her pregnancy. I don't think she was able to tell her family what was going on. She never spoke of them much, I think she felt that her sister was the favored child, but she never came right out and said anything." He trailed off, wondering momentarily if Shelby had had any sort of support system after giving up her daughter.

"There were always boys chasing after her. All she had to do was smile and wink and waiters would bring extra fries and free refills." He smiled, clearly caught up in a memory.

"She's beautiful." Rachel agreed.

"So are you. You look just like her."

"Why did she agree to have me, just for the money?" Rachel asked bluntly, changing the subject quickly.

"The money was certainly part of it, but I imagine it wasn't everything. She did it so we could have a family." He trailed off. "Shelby was very young and idealistic when she agreed to help us, maybe she was too young to really understand what it meant."

"How old was she?"

"She was only twenty-years-old when you were born. Rachel, whatever happened with Shelby… I mean, whatever issues she may have, they're not all her fault. She became so attached to you when she was pregnant, she was always singing or talking to you. I'm afraid that when she let you go she was more damaged than any of us expected."

"What do you mean?"

"She begged to be a part of your life, she didn't just give you up. She did want you Rachel, so don't ever let yourself feel like she didn't."

Rachel was silent as she slowly sank back into the couch cushions, her expression unreadable.

"Why couldn't you have told me before?" She asked meekly.

Michael was prepared for more anger, but he wasn't expecting Rachel's timid question. He had asked himself the same thing many times before, but had never come up with a good answer.

"I'm so sorry."

It was all he could manage to say before Rachel fell into his arms, finally allowing herself to cry. Michael held onto Rachel tightly as she cried, wishing he could take her pain away; wishing he could take away Shelby's pain as well. Their stupid contract had caused so much damage. He glanced up just in time to find his husband standing in the doorway.

"What happened?" He asked simply, expecting to hear one of Rachel's overly dramatic tales.

"It's Shelby." Michael answered softly, trying not to upset Rachel.

"What do you mean, it's Shelby?" Levi asked curtly. He had not been pleased when Rachel had found her mother and was just waiting for the day when everything fell apart.

"We just had a good talk about her. That's all." Michael said, trying to signal that he would tell his husband everything later.

"What did she do?" He continued. "I knew this was a bad idea. She was always so horribly flighty." He scoffed.

"She didn't do anything." Rachel said defensively, jumping up and breezing past her father, wiping at the tears on her cheeks.

Levi turned to follow his daughter when Michael spoke.

"Let her go Levi."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing happened Levi. Rachel just wanted to hear more about Shelby and was asking some questions, that's all." Michael said, surprised by how easily the lie fell from his lips.

"Well, we all know how dramatic she can be, certainly something she got from Shelby." Levi said, sitting down on the couch and propping his feet on the coffee table.

Michael cringed as his husband's shoes scuffed the mahogany table, but said nothing. He had bigger things to worry about than their furniture.

"She was always quite theatrical." Michael agreed.

"Shame she never made it to Broadway." Levi quipped.

"It really is."

"Just think, if she was still in New York we wouldn't have _this whole_ situation on our hands." Levi said.

"I think this whole situation probably has something to do with her not making it in the city."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She was so young Levi, and so talented. There's no reason she shouldn't be on stage somewhere right now."

"Well that certainly has nothing to do with us. Perhaps she just wasn't what producers are looking for these days."

"No, she was perfect for Broadway. She had that spark, you remember? That's what drew us to her in the first place. But you have to admit, after she gave up Rachel, that spark was gone." Michael said softly.

"Not this again. Michael, what were we supposed to do? Invite her into our home so all three of us could raise _our_ daughter?"

"I don't know." He sighed.

"You're right, she was young. Maybe she was too young." Michael acquiesced. "But I honestly looked at that contract like a favor. She had no obligations, she could go to New York just like she always dreamed. We gave her that opportunity."

There was a little part of Michael that couldn't help but think that Levi was right. At twenty years old Shelby had not been ready to be a mother, but she had fallen in love with her baby nonetheless. Amidst all of his doubts and regrets, Michael knew that Shelby had deserved to go off and live her life. After all, she had given them the greatest gift. If she had been involved in Rachel's life she never would have left Lima and even now Michael knew that she didn't belong in a small town in Ohio.


	7. Chapter 7

I am **so** sorry it took me so long to update... Life got a little bit hectic, not to mention I've rewritten this at least three times. Thank you for all of the support and encouragement! I promise I'll update again soon.

* * *

Shelby's life had calmed down considerably in the days following her phone call with Michael Berry. There were no visits from her family, no run-ins at the grocery store, and certainly no more life altering revelations. Nonetheless, Shelby could not help but remain on edge, waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. She tried to busy herself with projects, but painting her bedroom a deep burgundy had only kept her hands busy, her mind was still churning out question after question.

Did Michael talk to Rachel? How did it go? Was Rachel okay? Should she call again?

And once she had agonized over those questions, a whole new batch would rush through.

Did her father know about Rachel? Did he hate her? Had she been disowned?

The worst part was that there was no way for her to know any of the answers. She supposed that it was her penance for the secrets she had kept all of these years. Her life had now become a waiting game and Shelby had never been a patient person.

Shelby growled with frustration as she tossed her paint roller into the pan, splashing paint onto the drop cloth. She wasn't sure how much longer she could handle this. Indeed, the burgundy paint looked amazing, as she knew it would, but she was running out of menial distractions. She would _almost_ welcome another intrusion by her mother if it meant she could get some peace.

She changed out of her painting clothes and trudged downstairs to the kitchen where she poured herself a generous glass of Merlot. She took a small sip and flinched as the bitter liquid hit her tongue. She had never been much of a wine connoisseur, but it always made her feel more dignified than tequila shooters. She rolled her eyes and took another sip, making her way into the living room. She flicked on the television, anticipating a night of the Food Network and possibly some Survivor, when she heard a light knock at her door.

She set her glass down on her coffee table and trudged to the door, briefly wondering if she had been right about another visit from her mother. She pulled the door open and was shocked by who she found standing in front of her, shivering in the cold.

"Rachel, what… what are you doing here?" Shelby's normally strong voice quavered.

"My dad told me you called. If you didn't care you wouldn't have done that. Clearly you're just as hung up on our reunion as I am." Rachel answered, sounding much older than her sixteen years.

"Of course I care Rachel." Shelby sighed. "Come in sweetheart, it's freezing out there." She opened the door wider and Rachel slipped quietly into her home.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked awkwardly, unsure of herself.

"Some water, maybe?"

Of course, Shelby thought—she gets thirsty when she's upset.

Shelby nodded and motioned for Rachel to take a seat on the couch as she made her way into the kitchen. She poured a glass of water and tried to catch her bearings before returning.

She walked into the living room to find Rachel looking at the framed pictures placed on her mantle—the subdued girl in front of her was a sharp contrast to the vivacious girl she had seen on stage.

"Where's this?" Rachel asked, holding out a black and white photograph to her.

Shelby smiled lightly and took the photo.

"That was after opening night of this little show I did in New York."

"You look like a hooker." Rachel said bluntly.

"Well good, because I was supposed to." Shelby laughed, putting the picture back on the mantle.

"Oh." Rachel blushed.

"Here you go." Shelby said, handing Rachel her glass of water.

"It looks just like the one you gave me." Rachel said, looking at the glass.

"They were a match-set." Shelby said softly.

Rachel couldn't help the warm feeling that crept over her when she heard Shelby's words. The glasses were something her mother had wanted them to share, even though they had been apart.

Rachel took a sip from the glass and Shelby could see her demeanor change.

"I understand why you wanted to distance yourself from me." Rachel said seriously. "At first I blamed myself for coming on too strong." Rachel held up her hand as Shelby tried to disagree. "But I realize now how many issues you probably have regarding the surrogacy and subsequent contract, so I've elected to give you another chance."

Shelby sat speechless, so Rachel took that as her cue to continue.

"It wont be easy, but I believe with the help of a trained therapist we can work through this."

"Rachel, believe me, I would love to have a relationship with you. I want that more than anything in the world." Shelby admitted. "But, I'm not sure if this is the right way to go about it." She finished.

"Well, we tried your way and where did that get us?"

Shelby looked down at her hands and picked at the nonexistent lint on her jeans.

"We're both obviously miserable. We've both left our respective glee clubs. I've taken to hiding out in the library, and from the looks of your recycling bins you've been consuming entirely too much wine." Rachel's eyes widened as the last bit slipped out—it might have been true but she certainly didn't mean to say it aloud.

Generally Shelby Corcoran would not tolerate be spoken to in that manner by anyone—let alone a fifteen year old girl, but this was different. This was her daughter. And as her daughter's words sunk in and the shell-shocked look on the girl's face grew more and more concerned, Shelby could not help but laugh. Her small chuckles turned into great peals of laughter, tears leaking from her eyes.

Although apprehensive at first, Rachel began to smile and soon joined her mother in full-blown laughter.

They laughed until their sides cramped and their stomachs hurt. They laughed until they no longer remembered what had been so funny.

Mother and daughter laughed until all pretenses had fallen away and they were just there, in the moment, together.

As their laughter died down Shelby smiled warmly at her daughter and opened her arms to her. Rachel fell into the embrace without a second thought and the two sat together on the couch. This was the moment that they had both been hoping for all of those years.

Rachel reluctantly sat up and disentangled herself from her mother's embrace. Shelby sensed what the girl might be thinking and spoke softly.

"This won't make the past few months go away." She acknowledged. "But it's a good start."

"What's next?" Rachel asked hesitantly.

"I think we get to know each other." Shelby replied.

"Okay." Rachel said, moving to get something out of her bag. "I've put together a small biography for you. I mean, I don't know if that's too much. It has pictures…" She trailed off.

"No Rachel, it's wonderful, thank you." Shelby reassured her, taking the report folder.

"It contains most of the pertinent information. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?"

"Of course."

"Well, in regards to your family tree." Rachel began, pulling out a pink notebook.

"Here, let me help you with that." Shelby said, looking over Rachel's shoulder at the family tree diagram in her notebook, small gold stars by each of their names.

"My mom's name is Christina and my dad's is Earl. I have a sister named Kim, she's a year older than me."

"Do they live in the area?" Rachel asked, scribbling furiously in the notebook.

"My parents live in Urbana and my sister and her family live in Columbus."

"And your extended family?" Rachel asked, pen poised.

"Rachel, you don't have to get this all down tonight. I promise, you'll have plenty of time to learn everything."

"I understand, it's just…this whole side of my family tree has always been blank. I just want to fill it in."

"Okay." Shelby agreed, taking the pen from Rachel and started adding names and branches.

It seemed as though Shelby had a story for each relative she wrote down and she kept Rachel laughing the entire time. The girl noted that once Shelby had stopped being so serious she was actually remarkably funny.

"Do any of them know about me?" Rachel asked, once again taking on a more serious tone.

"My mother knows." Shelby answered lightly.

"She does? I've never really had a grandmother. My Nana Berry passed away when I was really little." She explained.

"She's only known for a little over a week." Shelby admitted.

"You were ashamed of me."

"No, never. Never ashamed of you Rachel. You're the best thing I've ever done. I was ashamed of myself. I should never have let you go."

"Do you think I could meet her sometime?"

"She would love that."

"You have a really big family." Rachel said, changing the subject.

"I know, it gets a little bit crazy."

"I just, I don't want to sound needy, but do you think…" She trailed off. "Do you think I could ever be a part of it?"

"Of course." Shelby said.

"I mean, I'm already a part of a family, with my dads, and it's amazing." Rachel reassured her. "But, I'd kind of like to be a part of yours as well."

"You already are a part of it. You're the most important part of it." Shelby said, taking Rachel's hand in her own.

"Thank you." Rachel said, squeezing her hand.

Shelby's heart broke a little more with her daughter's words. She should not have to thank her own mother for welcoming her into her family. It served as another small reminder of how hurt the girl must have been when she turned her away before.

It was in that moment that Shelby knew she couldn't mess this up, not again. It did not matter if she was ready, there was a young girl looking to her for acceptance and guidance and she would give that to her. It was time to grow up and allow someone past the walls she had built so diligently over the years. It was time to let someone in.


	8. Chapter 8

Will Schuester sat at his desk grading papers, trying to ignore the incessant ringing of his cell phone. He shrugged off the noise, figuring if it was important they would leave a message. His day had already been long enough, he honestly did not have the energy to answer another question or solve another problem. He had most recently sat through what was supposed to be a quick conference with Rachel Berry's father but had actually lasted over an hour. The older man had explained her current situation, much of which Will had heard from Shelby already. He had nonetheless agreed to allow Rachel to return to glee club when she was ready, as if he ever would have turned her away.

Will sighed as the ringing continued. He finally gave in and fished the cell phone out of his top drawer.

"I need to go out." A voice stated before he even had a chance to say hello.

"Shelby?" He asked, glancing at the number on the screen.

"Yes, it's Shelby." She scoffed.

He allowed himself a small smile, he and Shelby had met up a few times for coffee, but he had always initiated their meetings. This was something new.

"What do you mean you need to go out?"

"I mean exactly that. I need to go out, have a drink, listen to some music, anything. I'm going crazy over here, agonizing about every decision I've ever made and I need to get out." She declared dramatically.

"It's a Wednesday night Shelb." He rationalized.

"Even better, we won't run into the college crowd."

"I don't know…"

"Oh, come on Will. I'll bet you could use a good night out on the town. You deal with high school kids attempting to speak Spanish in the middle of Ohio every day, you deserve it."

She had a point there.

"Alright, I'm in." He gave in.

"I knew you'd cave." She teased. "Meet me at the Bank around eight?"

Contrary to its name the Bank was a local dive bar, trying desperately to be an Irish pub. It had been conveniently named in the 1960s so that husbands could tell their wives they were "heading out to the bank," but actually go to a bar.

"Sounds good Shelby, I'll see you then." Will responded. He generally didn't go out on Wednesday nights, but despite the melodramatics, this was the most upbeat he'd heard Shelby in a while. He gathered that it had something to do with Rachel's recent visit.

A few short hours later Will found himself sitting at the bar alone, sipping a beer as he periodically glanced at the door.

"Waitin' on somebody special?" The older bartender asked.

"No, no just a friend." Will answered, glancing at his watch.

The older man chuckled to himself, he had heard that one quite a few times.

Will was about to defend himself when the door swung open and Shelby appeared. She walked over to him as gracefully as ever, but he spotted the turmoil in her eyes immediately.

She squeezed his shoulder as she sat on the stool next to him and tucked her purse under the bar.

"Sorry I'm late. Had a bit of a fashion crisis."

"No don't worry about it. Although I have to admit, I never thought I'd see Shelby Corcoran in jeans and converse." He joked.

"Oh, who are you kidding? You saw me in a ratty old sweatshirt at the grocery store." She reminded him.

"Well, you made it look good."

"You're too kind." She responded cheekily. "How long have you been here?"

"Only about fifteen minutes."

"Oh, so you've met Jimmy?" She asked.

"Jimmy?" He questioned.

"Jimmy!" Shelby called, motioning for the bartender.

"Shelby!" He returned her smile, opting for a half hug over the bar. "I haven't seen you in here in a while. How have you been sweetheart?"

She shrugged, her smile fading a bit. "Jimmy, this is my friend Will. He teaches over at McKinley."

"We met briefly." Jimmy said, smirking at Will. "You want your usual?" He asked her kindly.

"You know it." She said.

"So, I take it you've been here before?" Will asked as Jimmy went about mixing Shelby a Long Island Iced Tea.

"Maybe a few too many times." She admitted. "Jimmy and I go way back. His daughter Charlene was my best friend growing up."

"Where is she now?"

Shelby paused for a moment and Will couldn't read the look that flashed across her face. "She's not here."

Will sensed that he had hit a nerve and took a sip of his beer before changing the subject. "So how's retirement going?" He teased.

"I'll have you know that it is quite wonderful." She retorted. "I have so much time I don't know what to do with it. I'm thinking about picking up a hobby."

"What about singing?" He asked.

"Don't you think that ship has sailed?"

"That's up to you." He said. "Do you ever just sing for fun?"

"Well, of course I do." She said defensively.

"Good, because that's the best kind of singing."

"And what about you Will. Do you have any crazy hobbies?"

"Nah, I hardly have a spare second between glee and school. Some of us don't have the luxury of retirement." He winked.

"Heads up." Jimmy interrupted placing Shelby's drink in front of her.

"Thanks Jim."

"No problem Shelly." He said wistfully before heading off to fill another order.

"Shelly?" Will questioned.

"He is the one person in the world who can get away with that. So don't get any ideas." She warned.

"Alright, alright." He threw his hands up in defeat.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments and Will scanned the pictures lining the back of the bar. Then one picture in particular caught his eye.

"Is that you?" He asked, pointing at it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Holy eyebrows Shelby, it is!" He cried out.

"Don't you dare make fun of my eyebrows! It was the nineties, what do you expect?"

"I take it back, I'm more of a fan of the dress and boots combo." He said, referring to her floral dress, turtleneck, and Doc Martens.

"I was very fashionable, thank you very much. And what about you mister high and mighty? I'm sure you just missed all of the nineties fads? Please."

"I may have partaken in a few myself." He admitted.

"I'll bet you were all about the acid wash jean jacket." She declared.

"I wasn't cool enough for the jean jacket." He admitted. "I was all about the flannel."

"Flannel, huh? I can see it." She giggled.

Will couldn't help but smile as Shelby chuckled. It was the most carefree he had ever seen her.

"What?" She demanded. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, it's just good to see you laugh."

"I'm not always _hard_ Will." She said pointedly, narrowing her eyes. They then widened abruptly when she realized what she had said. "Oh my god! I did not mean it that way!"

Will raised his eyebrows and smirked at Shelby.

"Shut up." She said, taking a large swig of her drink.

"You've got to admit. It's a little funny."

"Yeah, hilarious." She pouted.

"Come on." He nudged her.

"Sure, fine, whatever." She said, sticking out her tongue at him.

"I see the mature part of the evening has begun." He teased.

"I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?"

"Not for a while." He smiled.

"Fabulous." She muttered. "On that note, I'm going to get myself another one of these." She gestured towards her glass and sauntered to the end of the bar where Jimmy was focused on a basketball game.

Will shook his head. He never knew what to expect with Shelby. They had become friends during a rather transitional period in both of their lives and he had certainly witnessed many of her ups and downs. This night was definitely an up.

He smiled as he watched her flutter her eyelashes at Jimmy and grin. He didn't know if it was the alcohol, the environment, or a combination of the two, but Shelby seemed like a different person.

"So how have you really been?" He asked, as she returned to her stool holding her drink.

"I've been okay." She said, fiddling with her straw. "I'm getting to know Rachel a bit, and it's not as scary as I expected it to be."

"That's good. That's really good Shelby. So you've seen her again?"

"She's stopped by a few times after school. You'd think we'd run out of things to talk about, but she's always got more questions."

"I think that's great. She's seemed a lot better in school too. She'll probably be back to glee in no time."

"That's good. It killed me to know she'd left something she loved because of me."

"Shelby—" Will started.

"And don't tell me it wasn't my fault." She warned.

He just nodded and took a sip of his beer. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments when Will's phone rang.

He mumbled an apology while he fished it out of his pocket and answered. Shelby tried to focus her attention on the basketball game to give him some privacy, but she couldn't help but overhear his side of the conversation.

"Emma?" She asked quietly after he hung up.

"Uh, yeah." He said sheepishly. "I guess she's having some sort of an argument with her dentist."

"Her dentist?"

"Sorry, her boyfriend, he's a dentist."

"Oh, of course." Shelby smiled. "Did you want to…I mean, if you need to go talk to her." She trailed off.

"No, no. I'm here with you." He smiled. "She chose him, it's not really my job to run off and help her anymore."

"Will, it won't hurt my feelings. Obviously she called _you_ for a reason."

"She called me because it's comfortable. I'm tired of being her fallback. She can handle it tonight."

"Okay, if you're sure."

"I'm sure." He answered. "Another round?" He asked, gesturing to their drinks.

An hour later Will realized he had probably ordered one round too many, at least for Shelby. She was hanging onto his shoulder and he imagined that was the only thing keeping her upright.

"I like your shoulder." She slurred, a sleepy grin on her face.

"Thanks Shelby." He laughed.

"It's the perfect height." She explained, slipping off of her stool.

"Whoa there!" He said, sliding an arm around her waste to catch her.

Jimmy noticed the commotion and approached them.

"She doin' alright?" He asked, a knowing smile on his face.

"I think she had one too many Jimmy."

"Jimmy!" Shelby cried. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too Shelly." He smiled sadly.

"It's all my fault." She wailed, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Don't go there Shells." He responded. "I'll call her a cab." He said to Will.

"It's okay. I can drive her home."

"I'd really rather she take a cab."

Will was thrown off by the older man's change of mood. It was like something had flipped a switch in him. Will was about to continue arguing, but something in the man's eyes made him stop. He supposed he would have to ask Shelby about it when she wasn't slumped on a bar mumbling the lyrics to Defying Gravity.

"Okay, I'll just wait with her until the cab gets here."

Jimmy's expression softened and he grabbed the phone to call a cab.

"Don't be mad Will. He just wants to make sure it doesn't happen again." Shelby explained, lolling her head to the side.

"Okay."

"You're pretty." Shelby responded, poking his nose.

"Thanks Shelby. So are you." He laughed.

"So pretty…" She mumbled, as she rested her head on the bar again.

Will could only laugh at her antics.

"I could be a stripper if I wanted." She mumbled.

"Okay Shelby." He placated her.

"We could be the great whale friends."

Will laughed again, drunk Shelby was definitely amusing. She continued to mutter nonsensical things for a few minutes until he saw the cab pull up in front. He half-carried, half-dragged her to the car and gave the driver her address. He shook his head as he walked to his own car; spending time with Shelby was always an adventure.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Sorry it's been so long since an update...I have no excuse.

Also, the drunken Shelby comments come from a particularly classy night I myself had...at one point I [allegedly] declared myself Hillary Clinton, offered to give free plastic surgery, proclaimed my friend and I the "great whale friends," and played a saxophone... hahaha.


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